[No sexy Ryan Reynolds face this time, guys. Deadpool isn't showing his handsome face. He's sad. :-(]

So you know that crazy hot emphasis on crazy vampire chick that was killing all those people on camera?

She's gone. Kinda sucks, huh? Though I guess not for all you people who care about human life.

[Sadly:] I was going to let her wear my ( Read more... )

[ The feed snaps on, displaying Drusilla’s wide eyes and gleeful grin - childlike, but there’s that hint of predator always lurking underneath. There’s a bit of red smeared at the corner of her lips, but hey, that could be ketchup for all you know. Maybe she had an issue with lipstick this morning. Whatever. Behind her you might be able to hear ( Read more... )

[Wade has had a rather... interesting week. For those just tuning in, he choked to death on a spork during the powerless thing. He liked being dead. There's this hot skeleton chick with a thing for him that's just been waiting for him to kick the bucket permanently so they can be together. Pity he keeps on healing instead. His love affair with ( Read more... )

[Hey everyone! Deadpool is eating a bowl of space-oatmeal. He is broadcasting this to everyone. Why? I don't know. Do you really expect me to understand everything Deadpool does? I just play him. Sheesh ( Read more... )

Deadpool's just so amused by all of this. It's like everyone's boxes are on the fritz, and man, are they ever boring and white. Not like Deadpool's. Deadpool's boxes are a nice, golden yellow, just like always. And private, too! As far as he knows. He turns on the datapad, intent on mocking everyone. Since that's just his life goal.You guys all ( Read more... )

[A MINIATURE HOLOGRAPHIC DEADPOOL APPEARS TO BE STANDING ON YOUR DATAPAD.]

Ladies and gentlealiens, I thought you might all enjoy some soothing jizz in your ears.

[And some music starts playing. It sounds sort of like iron nails on a durachalkboard, but with melody ( Read more... )

...is it just me, or is Colbert really not even a little bit funny in this galaxy?

[Deadpool's been laughing at all of you guys and your weird canons. It was awesome. But now, he finally looked at the date and time and.... woah, how has it been two days?]

...is it just me, or has time started moving more quickly?

[Deadpool is, tragically, naked except for some boxers with little Deadpool symbols on them, his mask, and, inexplicably, a Mickey Mouse hat.]

HEY LUNA! Luuuuna? Where the heck are you? I think vacation's over!

[He leans in close to the camera and waves like a crazy person. Which he... is.]

Are we hated and feared by the people we're sworn to ( Read more... )

[There is silence for a moment. Then:]

Hey.

Oh man, hey. Listen to that.

Can't you hear?

MY BOXES ARE BACK!